It’s 7:12 A.M., and I just got shaken out of my sleep by a bad dream. I can’t go back to sleep, so I figured that I’d write about it.
Strange as dreams usually are when nothing makes sense, there was one theme that stayed consistent throughout. I was in some kind of drug store, like a CVS pharmacy. My friend Benny T. was there, and we were packing up and getting ready to leave somewhere. We were loading up an old four-door Benz, an early eighties model. We had our duffle bags, ruck sacks, and all kinds of other gear. We were loading up to join our unit to be mobilized to Iraq again. Once the car was loaded I went back into the store and saw my little niece, Sophi, running around the store with my sister, Mikk, chasing after her. I surprised Sophi and gave her a hug as she playfully laughed. I was saying goodbye to Mikk and gave her a hug, too. It was such an emotional exchange. My aunt, Elsie, from Maui was also there, and she was cradling a newborn in her arms. I said goodbye to her, too, then finally I gave Sophi a last hug. I told my family that I loved them, that I’d write, and that I’d see them again when I got back. Just as I said that, the thought of being back in harm’s way again came to mind. I specifically asked them to check on my girlfriend, Lauren, for me while I was gone. They said that they would. A customer in the store saw us, and as I walked away my sister and aunt explained that I was getting deployed again.
When I got out of the store, a yellow bus full of soldiers and the Benz pulled out of a gas station. I ran and yelled out for them to wait. Another car load with people arrived, it was the Ramos brothers and Bernie K. They were yelling at me like they had room in their car, but the bus had already stopped for me. When I got in the bus I saw all the people from my unit in there, but I also saw a friend from my first national guard deployment, Kurt K. I remember he had his woodland BDU’s on, and it had specialist rank on them.
We pulled into an airfield full of dead grass. I was hungry as hell. I said out loud, “I wish we had some food!”
Wong replied with, “Yeah, I wish!”
There was gear all over the place, and we were all sitting on a long wooden picnic bench. Our platoon sergeant, Wood, was sitting right in front of me. I told him that I needed to talk to him. Next thing I remember was we changed from sitting outdoors to being seated indoors in some dark restaurant. I sat next to him as I said what was on my mind. I told him that I don’t mind deploying with the guard, but that I expected that we would at least have a year off, at home, before we mobilized again. I said that we haven’t even been home for five months, and now I was leaving. I told him that I had no idea that when we were signing the paperwork during our drills that that this would actually happen. I, then, told him that Lauren had just waited for me a whole year during the last deployment, and that she was going to have to be without me another year. I said, “She’s waited for me longer than she’s been with me, physically!”
Wood continued to eat his ribs, then he said that he could probably work something out when we got to our mobilization site. I remember my eyes tearing up at the thought of Lauren. It was that familiar feeling again of me being on the move, having no contact with her at all, missing her, and wondering what she was doing. It was the same anguish that I felt when I was in the initial stages of deployment exactly a year ago to this day. I was sad. In the end of the dream, I found out that Wood was sending himself back home, and he didn’t keep his word.
I woke up to an aching left shoulder muscle, from my arm that lay behind my head, and to Lauren snoring away right there by my side. I couldn’t believe that it was just a dream. I was happy that it wasn’t real, but it was hard to come back to reality. The emotions felt so real. I stared at the time projected on the ceiling by my clock and let out a soft whimper. The dream felt so real. I have her, she’s back in my arms, and I’m back home, but I still can’t go to sleep. I’ve had a couple dreams like this one already.
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